The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to extremely difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , leading to effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, well-being, love, and closeness .

However when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that numerous of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, many gay men want to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that you could try this out we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you my explanation require to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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