The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which pop over to these guys acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , causing effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, love, wellness, and closeness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They most likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that many of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay males desire to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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