The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, i thought about this wellness, and love .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in cities, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay guys want to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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