The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, and closeness .

However when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist click to read more attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that numerous of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urban locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay guys want to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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